MY POSTIVE INVOLVEMENT IN THE COMMUNITY
FROM ADVERSITY CAME KNOWLEDGE, HOPE AND RECOVERY
Until June 2000 I had led a very profound and lonely life. This was not by choice but due to many adverse life events far beyond my control such as serious violent attack’s on me when 3, 7 and 10 years of age and much previous violent and mental abuse within the family home. I was living in my own little world, pain and suffering were all I knew and so I was very shy and timid as a result. I suffered even more throughout my schooling, as even children pick up on a person’s vulnerability and it seems natural for many to treat you as different, and they to continue the abuse.
When in such trauma you can’t comprehend what is happening, your in a state of constant shock and totally defenceless. It’s then impossible to comprehend what is perceived as a normal life and I had no one to turn to for help. When aged six a teacher threw things at me as I sat at the back of the classroom in the corner. He called me names and often allowed others to attack me as I was wetting myself out of fear and helplessness.
It should come as no surprise that I had no education; I learned nothing at school except the inhumanity of people. Rarely could I gain work or hold onto a job due to my hidden emotional distress that people picked up on, making things even worse. At 17 I was attacked with a knife and have numerous scars on by back to prove it, but I was not bothered in the slightest. I did not attend my practitioner for three days; such was the sad state of my mind.
Over the years I have cheated death or serious injury hundreds of times due to near misses with road traffic, or mishaps at work. This was and still is normal to me. There is much more physical and emotional pain I have endured but in 1999, my trauma was taken to a much higher level. I lost my seven-month-old son to a rare gene disorder, my pain was irrelevant. It was my son’s pain that caused me to scream out for years in the street, such was my trauma when my son died. I was not offered any medication, no advice or support of any kind, just told I could have seven day’s sick leave and then go back to work. Obviously life is not that simple and my trauma got much worse. I had none of my family for support and not one of my friends understood or offered me help. I was truly on my own.
This is some of my adversity and the knowledge I have gained from it.
Next is the beginning of hope and recovery...
My Community Involvement |
Hope and recovery - "What are your secret hopes and aspirations? What would it mean to achieve them...?" |
The great divide - " Finally, I found the voice I always had but never knew it." |
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Gateshead Community Network |
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Photographs of my Involvement (Click on a thumbnail below to enlarge photograph) |
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Baltic Art Centre |
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My work with the artist Spencer Tunick |
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Down on the River Tyne Newcastle |
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