Speakers Story
Paul
Paul, 51, from Gateshead, has post-traumatic stress disorder. His traumas began at the age of three when some older boys threw him
into a fire. At seven, he had a firework dropped on to his T-shirt and at 10 a
rocket-type firework was fired at his throat.
These experiences, and seeing people around him
“needlessly suffer” resulted in him having “out of body” feelings as he tried
to normalise and make sense of the violence he received. Paul says he felt his
life was destroyed at the age of ten. This unresolved traumatic stress has had
severe repercussions on Paul’s life and he has experienced severe depression
and anxiety and has suicidal tendencies. He also lost his son to Gaucher’s
disease, a rare genetic condition.
Paul says, “For years, I never had a voice and no one
cared to listen. But in June 2000 my life changed forever. I miraculously found
my way into the world of the mental health service user. My life would never be
the same again, for I found the place of safety that I so much cried out for,
for so very long. Meeting people who I could relate to was the key towards my
recovery.”
Paul was actively involved in Gateshead Mental Health
User Forum for seven years, and has worked with Gateshead Community Network for
six years.
Although Paul has no qualifications, following
“terrible schooling”, he is an accomplished poet and much of his work has been
published. He has also set up a website with the help of a friend called www.odesofsurvival.co.uk. Through
his website, Paul hopes to continue helping people by openly sharing his many
experiences and to open up a debate about mental health. On his website Paul
writes, “You can’t feel someone’s pain, but you can share your experiences”.
Paul was also the first person in the North East to
raise funds and awareness of Guachers disease.
Paul has experienced discrimination in the workplace
and says that his past employers failed to see his potential. He often feels
too embarrassed to disclose his mental health problems to potential employers
through fear of the stigma attached.
Speaking out about his experiences has been a
terrifying and wonderful experience: “Every
person is special and unique. We can all contribute to society if we are
allowed and assisted to flourish in a safer and fairer society. In adversity,
one’s inner strength shines through.”