Up until June 2000 when I walked through the doors of Mind in Gateshead, I had always felt excluded from the wider community. I had never participated in meaningful social interactions, a very sad life indeed. Then incredibly overnight when I walked through the doors of Mind, something amazing happened in my life: for the first time I was able to meet like minded people and interact with them because they made me feel safe and welcome. Now finally my life had some meaning, I was no longer alone with my desperate thoughts. Now I was beginning to discover the real me and my own inner strength; not knowing at the time the wonderful journey I was about to embark on. Due to the care and compassion I received by many a people my inner-self, came shining through. Now, I was ready for life’s challenges.
In May 2000 that challenge came along in the most profound way. While sitting in the sun playing scrabble with fellow service-users a very special person came to visit us to tell us about a project she was setting up with a Colleague, a Community Network. A network of individuals and groups getting together to discuss community issues and have an equal voice alongside the statutory sector. “Wow!” my heart lit up. I suddenly felt instantly alive instantly when I heard the words Community Network. I knew this was for me, (yes please I thought no time to waste, this is my way into the wider community.) Within minutes of giving us a wonderful talk I was in a room with her pouring my heart out. I told her, “I have waited all my life for this.’’ It just seemed it was meant to be, my way forward in life’s journey.
The launch date was set, 4th July 2002 and I was going to be part of it.
On the 4th July (interestingly Independence Day in America) something wonderful happened in my life. This shy, uneducated, hapless person’s life changed forever. When I walked into the Hotel room where the meeting was being held, I left my shyness and all my insecurity’s at the door. I felt confident, purposeful and immediately started interacting with people. I had real meaning in my life for the first time. It was as if I had awoken from a long nightmare, a totally different person.
There were a great deal of tables with coloured pens and paper, with some one at each table asking people their thought’s and ideas around community issues and what the Network should be about.
Well let me tell you, this was the spark that lit up my life. Incredibly, this uneducated, shy and socially isolated person had a massive rush of positive ideas to make the World a better place. I was having wonderful manic thoughts and I could not wait to have them written down. Incredibly, people were engaging me and sharing ideas. It was such a wonderful feeling that swept through me. The day I had always dreamed of had finally arrived. This was the start of five wonderful years of my involvement within the wider community. And… I learned the meaning of self-empowerment.
The Network gave me the platform and opportunity to explore my feelings and the world around me. I soon realised that by sharing openly my adverse experiences in a positive way, I could help identify gaps in services: how things could and should be done better. I channelled my adversity into positivity.
In these five years, I have now been to hundreds of steering group meetings, community consultation event’s, council led primary care meetings, mental health promotions, housing company meetings and Home Office visits. I have met front benchers, ministers, hundreds of professionals and other dedicated members of the network all of whom have warmly welcomed my openness and positivity, in an environment where everyone counts, where everyone’s thoughts are valued and through this process, people such as myself are now listened to as equals when it comes to planning services within the wider community. Finally, I found the voice I always had but never knew it.
I do hope this story can inspire others who feel disadvantaged to take charge of their own lives and not to give up hope, as I haven’t. Yes it’s been incredibly hard for me and I have had many set backs but the more you get involved the more rewarding it is. We all have a role in society, sadly for some people it can take time to find that role; it’s the searching that kept my hope alive.
©Paul Davidson 2008